I don’t know what you heard about me…

September 18, 2009

Street knowledge quiz: The human seen below accosts you in your place of business.

Big Pimpin'

Big Pimpin'

Complete the following sentence:
“Get the fuck out, you _____”

A) Jive turkey
B) Cracker-ass cracker
C) Fratboy douchebag
D) Ofay mick
E) Honky sumbitch

ANSWER: None of the above. This is a trick question. The individual above is properly described as a “weaksauce GOP ratfucker-in-training”. Assuming you are not overcome with laughter, please attempt to document your sighting of the creature, as the species is known to erase its own tracks in an attempt to conceal itself from its natural enemies (Fortunately, some traces remain).

I could go on to discuss on how the honorable art of satire, once the last and best resort of the disenfranchised, is increasingly becoming a tool for the reinforcement of priviledge.

Alternatively, I might attempt to demonstrate how satire is supposed to operate, by indicating how the soft bigotry of low expectations has once again prevented the private sector from delivering a solution that would benefit society as a whole, and at minimum expense to the taxpayer.

But in the words of that modern-day master of satire, Hunter S. Thompson: res ipsa loquitor, “the thing speaks for itself.”

total%20asshole

Way to be, playa…

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